


You Could Be Happy

by dallystrings



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Model Harry, Pining, Rich Louis, Slow Burn, So much angst, light side ziall, lots of cute friend stuff as well, lots of suits, theyre both trust fund babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-15
Updated: 2014-08-15
Packaged: 2018-02-13 07:11:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2141784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dallystrings/pseuds/dallystrings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Fuck you," Louis gritted through smiling teeth as he watched Harry gingerly buckle up his son in the back of the car waiting for them outside of the grocery store. "Fuck you and your fucking husband and fucking countryside ranch house and fucking baby. Fuck all of it," and he lifted a hand to wave politely in their direction before the car sped off and he was left wondering how many times Harry Styles was going to walk out of his life before it stopped hurting.</p><p>or</p><p>Six years after the breakup, Louis is the CEO of the family corporation and Harry is married with a kid.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Could Be Happy

**Author's Note:**

> I keep finding ways to put off summer reading. Writing this was one of them.
> 
> Title from the song You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol

-

What he remembered wasn't what was expected of a party boy who had been exposed in the tabloids since he was sixteen. It wasn't the pop of a champagne bottle with the fizz running down his suit sleeves during another weekend on the yacht. It wasn't the bright flashing of the cameras as he strode through the airport on his way to yet another exotic destination for vacation. It wasn't the parties that seemed to get wilder and more dramatic with each passing year. What Louis remembered was never the money. 

It was something else that threatened to suffocate him if he stopped working long enough to let the memories of his teenage years flood back. The late nights spent next to his horrible excuse of a makeshift fire, with his jacket hugged around the shoulders of another. The king sized bed, completely empty on one side as the two couldn't bear to separate more than an inch while they slept. It was windblown curly hair. Green eyes. Love.

"Are you happy?" the soft voice came from the foot of the bed and Louis lowered his book slightly to stare in that direction. The younger boy lay sprawled across the crimson duvet, tossing a tennis ball up towards the ceiling and catching it just seconds before it would have hit him square in the face. The book was raised again, and his eyes scanned over the words with limited interest.

"With you? Never," Louis smirked. The pattern of the ball being thrown into the air faltered, and it landed with a few small bounces before rolling under the bed. There was no following thud of the younger clamoring off the end of the bed to reluctantly search for it. A few moments passed, and the only noise was the crackling of the fire roaring in the fireplace.

"I'm serious," the tone more timid now, as if he was afraid of the answer. For a few seconds there was no response, and Louis continued to skim over the last few pages of his book. They sat in an awful silence for what seemed like an eternity before Louis finally lowered his novel and sat up against the headboard. Hopeful eyes gazed in his direction, and he was taken aback at how loudly his heart pounded in his chest.

Louis patted the space on the bed next to him, motioning for the other to come closer. He crawled to the head of the bed, tucking his knees up to his chest and resting his head in the crook of the older's shoulder. Their hands instinctively joined together, each squeezing their fingers every few seconds as a constant reminder that this was real and they were together for now at least. 

"Do you believe in fate?" the younger inquired, and squirmed around in an attempt to get a better look at the person clinging to him. 

"Full of questions tonight, aren't we," Louis chuckled, his heart still racing and his mind still buzzing from the first question. Still, he answered neither and left  
the air in the room even heavier than before. One hand moved from behind the other's back to instead play with his knotted hair. They had been on the boat that day, and it was still an absolute mess from the sea water and wind. 

"And you're lacking answers, as usual," he snapped, but their bodies still lay nestled close together and he only leaned into every touch given to him. Louis hummed in agreement and let his eyes flutter closed. They were both on the verge of falling asleep, still completely clothed and having gone without dinner. The fire had died down already, and the room grew colder with each passing second. That didn't matter. They had each other to keep warm.

The night came on quickly, both able to watch the sun set through the tall windows from their spot on the bed. Louis kissed the top of his head and stared down at sunburnt cheeks that matched the patches of reddened clouds scattered across the sky. Still they curled into each other, listened to every shaky breath and tried to imagine a world with just the two of them. The world outside had a tendency of fading away if they tried hard enough.

"I love you," Louis decided finally, his words breaking the silence that had been building up for so long. The other shifted under his touch, let his body finally  
relax. His eyes stared at the ocean outside that crashed against the beach. If he closed his eyes long enough he could still feel the waves hitting his waist from  
earlier in the day. 

"You say that like it's the answer to everything," he commented, but his voice no longer contained any anger. It had faded into something more understanding and patient. Downstairs was the bustle of another party beginning, and a further reminder of what they were up against. Still, he waited for another answer. Even just to humor him, though he knew deep down that he wasn't going to get it. 

"Isn't it?" Louis whispered as his arms squeezed tighter to protect the younger from everything harmful in the world. It wasn't until later that he realized he had been the most toxic thing of all. Something that he would never be able to save him from. 

"Yeah," he replied, flashing a satisfied lopsided grin and twisting himself to lay on top of Louis' chest. "I guess it is," They pulled a blanket up over the top of them, glanced towards the door to make sure it was locked and no drunken socialites would stumble in in an attempt to find a bathroom. 

Laughter filled the room as they huddled together under the duvet, and before long Louis was dragging them out to climb onto the roof. They stared out at the ocean, passing a bottle of wine back and forth that had been swiped from the cellar. The kissing was dizzying, and it became harder to distinguish the order of events as the night went on. Louis spelled out his love in the stars, and somehow carried the both of them back to bed when the sun started to rise.

"Hey," Louis whispered, rolling over to face a drunk with a sleepy smile plastered to his face. There was a soft hum as a confirmation that whatever he said would be heard, but he waited for green eyes to flutter open and stare back at him. His voice froze in his throat and he leaned forward to press their lips together in an attempt to convey everything he was unable to say aloud. "As long as I'm with you I'm happy," he murmured when they pulled apart.

They fell asleep draped across one another, the same as every other night. When daylight seeped through the curtains and they were rushed to other ends of the world Louis remembered the soft words spoken between the two that night. It didn't matter what his father said, or how poorly he was portrayed by the tabloids writing articles about him. He had already figured out the answer to everything.

Louis spent three of his summers traveling the world with a curly haired boy at his side. The two of them grew up quickly, both thrust into the limelight too early and forced to grow up in the shadow of a successful family line that needed to be up kept. Still, they thought that they had everything figured out. As long as there was love between them, they could overcome any obstacle thrust in their way. 

In his dresser a little box with a silver band sat waiting for the younger boy. There was never a question in Louis' mind as to who he would give the family ring to when the time came. But four years from the night in that cottage on the ocean Louis pulled the wedding invitation addressed to him with Harry's name written next to another's in calligraphy. It was then that he realized how rarely things worked out for him in the way that he expected it.

-

 

Life went on after everything fell apart. As much as it seemed like the entire world would shut down and collapse around him the day that Harry walked out the door, it didn't. The sun still rose and shone through sheer curtains of a New York City apartment. The ringing alarm clock still blared through the bedroom fifteen minutes after six on the dot. Suits were still slipped into, cars were still stuck in traffic, elevators still brought him to the top of a skyscraper to begin the day's work. Life went on. 

And Louis adapted to life after. While at first he wondered whether or not he'd ever be able to make it out of bed due to the immense weight of his chest, it grew easier with time. Every day drew more distance between the present and a time when he was truly happy, when he was truly himself. But he kept pushing himself past the longing and the regret that could have drowned him if he'd let it. 

Some days were good. He'd be able to pull himself from under the duvet without having to hit the snooze button. While he showered he'd sing so loudly that there would come a banging on the door from the roommate that he'd waken up. During a hearty breakfast he'd flash a smile, never one that caused the corners of his eyes to crinkle up in the way that it had before but a smile nonetheless. It was then that he considered that maybe he would be okay.

When a bad day hit him, it hit hard. It took a handful of people to convince him to open his eyes at least, let alone get started with the day. Every step he took brought him farther down into his funk. The knocking on the bedroom door was softer and hesitant, concerned by the vast length of time the water had been running so far. He couldn't eat when it was time, just stared blankly at the extravagant breakfast before him and wished it was the toast Harry had burnt to a crisp back during their trip to Milan. 

It took time for Louis to distance himself from the thought of what life had been like before. There was a gaping hole in his life, and he could feel it every second of every day. Harry had always been right by his side from the time that he was a child. And now he was somewhere across the country with no dorky knock knock joke texts for Louis to wake up to in the morning. 

Walls that had been taken down so slowly and meticulously over the course of three years went up abruptly once more. Louis was left colder and more reserved than before. The one who everyone counted on for a laugh was suddenly incapable of making even himself smile. Bit by bit remnants of the way he was before began to shine through, but it was just a fragment of who he had been before.

Louis focused on his school work more than ever, graduating from Yale with a degree in business shortly after turning twenty two. The first person he wanted to tell his scores to wasn't Harry for once. When Louis realized this, he spent a week in bed cradling a bottle of Jack and wondering how long it would be before the younger boy was erased completely from his life. 

Years passed slowly as Louis stepped out into a world of business to help run his father's company. For the first time in a long time, he truly felt that he belonged somewhere. He rose up through the ranks quickly, devoting himself to help modernize and reestablish the family name. Louis' father boasted to everyone he spoke to about how proud he was of his son. Louis felt himself healing. 

In the back of his mind, Harry stayed. But those memories faded slowly as he reimbursed himself into the world he had hidden away from for so many years. Once again he was at the top of the social ladder. A party was only successful if Louis Tomlinson dropped by to make an appearance. Tabloids once again were loaded with one who had been famous so many years before. It reminded him of the good old days, and for once he felt fond.

Louis was twenty five years old when he lost his father to a heart attack. Just when everything had been falling into place, his entire world was uprooted again. This  
time however, he was unable to fall back into old habits and dark tendencies. At the reading of the will, Louis was informed that it was his duty now to take over the company. The board of directors begged and pleaded for him to hand it over for a few years until he was ready, but Louis was determined. 

For the first few months he walked on egg shells, sticking carefully to the plan that his father had created. With every decision he made he first consulted with the board and a half a dozen lawyers. Quickly, the plan ran thin and he needed to start thinking of his own ideas and ways to increase profits. No one had expected party boy Louis Tomlinson to run the corporation half as well as his father had, but within a year he was already doing better.

Richer than anyone remotely close to his age and earning more with every passing day, all eyes were plastered to Louis. The pressure was immense, but he was able to thrive under it and continuously shock everyone watching. It was rare that someone so charismatic and fun was able to keep a high profile in business as well, but he did it all. From wild parties to tolling meetings, he was everything the Upper East Side had to offer rolled into one. Life goes on.

-

Louis was twenty six when he stumbled back into the penthouse apartment he shared with his best friend, Zayn, and shakily closed the door. It was colder than usual and he could smell the weed from a room over. Dazedly, he wandered towards the foyer where a heavy R+B rhythm was pumping through the speakers and Zayn was sitting cross legged, scantily clad in a tank top and boxers. 

"Hey man," he called over his shoulder and kept his eyes trained on the television which was playing some action movie with horrible effects. Still, Zayn looked up at it in awe with his mouth hanging open slightly and his fingers messing with the lighter. "You get the Jax?" he asked distractedly, holding out an arm behind him and clenching his fist in Louis' direction. 

Louis fumbled with the paper grocery bag, shoving his hands towards the bottom to find what he had set out for in the first place and tossing it in the other's direction. Zayn attempted to catch the cheese puffs, but instead they hit him in the back of the head and he ended up cursing while huddled over his bowl to make sure nothing had fallen out. A quick glare was shot in Louis' direction before he lit up again and turned the better half of his attention towards the television.

The words caught in Louis' throat won't come out no matter how hard he tries, so instead he sat down next to Zayn and ran a shaky hand through his hair. Smoke slowly filled the room as Zayn breathed out, and without hesitation he handed the bowl over in Louis' direction. Louis leaned against the couch and let his eyes flutter closed while he brought the bowl up to his mouth and flicked the lighter carefully. 

"Good shit right?" Zayn asked, his knee bumping against Louis' though his voice sounds like it was from across the room. "Smoked some with Niall a couple days back and he tried to call room service to order some massive feast as usual. Couldn't even pronounce Tiramisu while mumbling into the phone. The woman at the desk thought he was having a stroke and almost called the paramedics. After, like, half a bowl too. What a fucking loser," Zayn laughed, and his voice was laced with such a fondness for the younger boy it made Louis' heart hurt. 

They fell back into a comfortable silence, Zayn occasionally chattering on about something stupid Niall had done within the past few days or another offensive thing Liam had said unknowingly while at work. Louis was often curious as to just how much they got done at their law firm with far too frequent parties that left Liam drunkenly dancing on top of the conference room table trying to rap along to the latest Jason Derulo song. 

They finished off the remainder of Zayn's stash with ease as they laid on the carpet sprawled across each other. Zayn lazily reached out to card his fingers through Louis' hair, attempting to braid the shaggier pieces. After many failed attempts he managed to successfully complete a fish tail that rested against the nape of the other's neck before slowly coming undone. 

"I saw him," Louis breathed out finally, the first words he had spoken since he walked through the door. Zayn's eyes fluttered open and he stared dazedly in Louis' direction for a few seconds, trying to figure out whether or not he had missed the first part of the sentence. 

"Who?" Zayn asked, and chuckled to himself slowly as he repeated the word a few more times. "I was, um, being an owl," he explained. The look on his face sobered up quickly when he realized just how distraught Louis was, and he wiggled his entire body around to accomodate the other. Zayn furrowed his eyebrows and turned to Louis with a now stern expression. 

"Harry," Louis gulped, feeling his throat constrict and his head spin, the weight of the reality crushing him as he said it aloud, "I saw Harry,"

-

It had been in a grocery store, of all places. Forget the parties that they both attended, always just missing each other as they passed in the crowd, or the weddings of close friends where they were seated almost on top of each other. Six years went by with the two living in the same city for the majority of the time, and the first time that they came face to face was in a tiny corner store a couple of blocks from Louis' apartment. 

It was supposed to have been a quick trip. The weather was nice enough for a walk, and he had been holed up inside doing work for the past week so Louis figured he would just go by himself instead of sending someone. Zayn was so adamant about getting his cheese puffs before he started smoking, and while they were more accustomed to eating five star quality meals, there was always an exception to be made for cheap junk food.

Louis hadn't been to the store more than five times in his life, but it was small enough that he felt confident in finding everything he needed without too much time being wasted. The maze of short aisles were as easy to navigate as expected, and within record time he was reaching up to the top shelf to get to a bag of Doritos. It was higher than he would have liked, and he quickly checked up and down the aisle before propelling himself up onto his tip toes to snag it. 

With a satisfied humph, Louis tucked the bag into the basket hanging on his arm and adjusted the button up shirt that had come untucked slightly from his trousers. A smug smile was plastered to his face and he strode towards the back of the store to grab some coffee creamer. What he saw as he passed the next aisle caused him to do a double take and nearly drop everything in his grasp. 

"Lou?" a deep voice rang out, and someone barely recognizable stepped towards him. For a second he was almost overjoyed to see him again, but then Louis just wanted to scream at him, to rip him apart for using that nickname. No one was allowed to call him that. There had been a time when someone special could get away with it, but he wasn't special anymore. He was a stranger in a Burberry trench coat and a silk headscarf. 

Harry was as beautiful as ever. Louis had known, of course, that he didn't look the same way he did the last time they had seen each other. It had been six years, and they had both grown up to be someone almost completely different. It wasn't that he hadn't seen pictures of the younger man, he had been plastered across every magazine and celebrity news channel for years, but seeing him in person was something else.

For one, Harry had grown his hair out tremendously. It fell in little ringlets that nearly rested at his shoulders, and it looked more impossible to tame than ever. There was no more acne on his face that he often his behind his curls to cover. His shoulders had broadened and his muscles grew as well. Harry must have gained at least a half a foot in height, and Louis wondered how someone so beautiful was even able to exist. Perhaps the most surprising, or the thing that really shattered Louis' heart all over again wasn't the way that Harry had changed in every conceivable way and was no longer the person he had been clinging to the thought of for the past six years. 

A tiny cry was let out followed by a small hand thumping against Harry's chest, and he turned quickly to adjust the baby sitting on his hip. Louis felt his heart drop into his stomach as he watched, feeling everything that he thought he was over hit him at once. Harry poked the little boy in the nose gently and beamed down at him, which caused the baby to giggle and excitedly kick his feet. Louis noticed the soft green eyes staring in his direction after a moment, but he couldn't get over how out of place the shaggy blonde hair was.

"Hello Harry," he spoke finally, after what seemed to be far too long of a pause. The smile on his face was genuine, no matter how terribly his heart ached. Harry's grin only widened as he struggled to keep the squirming child still while he babbled on in gibberish. "It's been a while," his voice sounded distant, and he wondered if it was really himself talking as he could barely recognize it. 

"It feels like a lifetime ago, doesn't it?" Harry asked, his voice even deeper now and Louis nearly fell back in shock. The baby continued to ramble and grab at curly hair, but Harry didn't seem phased. He just continued to smile, and that was the only thing besides his eyes that had seemed to remain the same. "Feel like I see you everywhere I go though. Your name is in just about everything I try to read," 

Louis let himself laugh along with Harry and nod. Everything felt forced at this point, and he hated himself for building up some fairy tale reunion over the years in his head. This wasn't what he had planned when he pictured the two finally meeting again. It wasn't supposed to be in a grocery store with Louis picking up snacks for when he and Zayn had the munchies while Harry shopped around for organic baby snacks. 

"Well it's the same for you. Harry Styles: supermodel, charity head, entrepreneur, socialite, husband... and now father," Louis smiled, and while he had known about the child beforehand it was something entirely different seeing them interact in person. Harry smiled down at his son as a reaction and huddled him close to his body. There was a time when he had been looked at with love by Harry Styles. 

"I guess we've both been busy," Harry commented and Louis' laugh was almost bitter as he nodded along politely. "Max just turned a year and a half last week. Crazy how fast they grow, really, feels like just yesterday I was a high school party boy and now I'm a dad," his gaze was starry and Louis wanted to rip his hair out of his head. It was him that Harry was supposed to have a family with, but instead all that he was remembered for was wild parties and some high school fling.

"He's beautiful," Louis admitted gently, jealous of the unconditional love that came along with having a child. The only thing he was completely devoted to was keeping his father's good name intact and making sure the company thrived under his control. It seemed pathetic in comparison at the moment, no matter how viciously he defended his life choices to any interviewer that asked when he'd be settling down.

"We had Tom's sister surrogate, so there's a lot of his features in the little guy but he has my eyes at least," Harry stated proudly, and Louis agreed under his breath. It had felt like a punch in the gut to learn that Harry was going to marry another man, one who was just as successful as Louis and able to come out of the closet with no fear. Louis had asked himself a million times how he was meant to come out without Harry there to hold his hand.

"I'd love to meet him sometime," Louis lied blatantly and flashed a quick smile. This sent Harry over the edge in excitement and he babbled on about a dinner with all of them to catch up, and how of course anyone Louis was seeing could be invited as well, and maybe while he was in town they could get the old gang back together for a night out. Louis didn't mention that the "old gang" still was all together, besides him at least.

"Oh shoot," Harry clicked his tongue and glanced at his watch with wide eyes. "I was really just supposed to stop in for a couple of minutes to grab some of those organic cereal snacks before heading off to a shoot. And now I'm a half hour late," Harry shrugged indifferently and stepped forward to hand Louis his phone with a New Contact page pulled up. "Put your number in, yeah? We can meet up sometime soon," 

The excitement in Harry's eyes was so naive and innocent that Louis almost broke down in the middle of the grocery store. It had been six years since they had spoken, six years since Louis lost the best thing to have ever come into his life, and now here they were making small talk in the dairy section like it was completely normal. He wanted to scream and curse Harry out for believing that they could ever go back to how things were before, and hated him for treating him like he was just an old friend that had lost touch.

But instead Louis smiled and typed his digits into the phone screen, typed his first and last name into the contact, and handed it back to Harry without incident. Harry assured him that he'd call when he had the chance so they could plan some time to catch up that wasn't in the middle of the grocery store, and they laughed awkwardly together until saying their goodbyes and heading to opposite check out aisles. 

"Fuck you," Louis gritted through smiling teeth as he watched Harry gingerly buckle up his son in the back of the car waiting for them outside of the grocery store. "Fuck you and your fucking husband and fucking countryside ranch house and fucking baby. Fuck all of it," and he lifted a hand to wave politely in their direction before the car sped off and he was left wondering how many times Harry Styles was going to walk out of his life before it stopped hurting.

\- 

"I don't want to go," Louis' voice was muffled by his pillow as he tugged the duvet over to cover his head. Niall stood over him in a huff, angrily prodding at his back with a banana he had grabbed from the kitchen. Zayn laid splayed across the love seat in the corner, letting his eyes flicker up over his case files to watch in amusement as the two bickered back and forth.

"Get the fuck out of bed, Tomlinson," Niall whacked him over the head with the banana, and ignored the choked laughter Zayn offered up at the sight. A middle finger was thrust in the dark haired boy's direction, and he meerly pretended to be focused on his work while the others continued to argue. "You are going to be so sorry if you don't move your ass," he continued, groaning in frustration when the banana broke and oozed over his fingers. 

Realizing that the fruit would get him absolutely no where, he grabbed a pillow from the other side of the bed and started beating the lump under the blankets with it. The room filled with screaming and thudding until Louis shot his hand from under the blanket to grab the cushion and rip it from Niall's hands. 

"You're lucky I don't fire you," Louis screeched, his voice still barely audible from laying on top of a half a dozen pillows. Niall simply grabbed another free one as he laughed and tried to force him to come out. "I'm calling my lawyer! Prepare to be sued, you piece of shit," Louis continued on, and Zayn's eyebrows shot up as he glanced in his direction. 

"Your lawyer agrees that you need to get the fuck out of bed," Zayn piped up lazily, and Niall let out a triumphant yell before jumping on top of the bed and bouncing all around Louis. He clung to the sheets so he wouldn't fall off and tried to swat at the other's legs to knock him down.

"It's a conspiracy! You're all against me! You're trying to take me down and steal all of my money so you two can run away to Bermuda and not have to work another day in your lives," Louis poked the tip of his head from under the blanket to take a deep breath of fresh air, and Niall darted down in an attempt to grab him. He just missed, and it was like a whack-a-mole game as the older continued to pop out for air and Niall continuously couldn't grab him.

In all of the commotion, the two didn't notice another person enter the room quietly. Zayn's hysterical laughter snapped their attention to the door frame, and Niall smiled wickedly in Louis' direction while his eyes widened in horror. Liam stood anxiously holding a large blue bucket. He chewed on his lip and flashed his gaze between all three men, nervously taking a step forward.

"Louis," he started carefully and Niall began to chant under his breath until Louis darted out a fist to give him a Charlie Horse on his thigh. A yelp of pain was let out, and Zayn surged forward slightly in concern. He rolled his eyes and pressed back against the chair, lazily blowing a kiss in Niall's direction and turning his attention back to Liam. "Louis," he repeated again, this time even more nervous. 

"Liam, I swear if you take one more step towards me I will end you," Louis hissed through gritted teeth, and made sure to listen to make sure there were no more footsteps since he was tucked safely under the blanket. Niall shifted on the other side of the bed and moved around, too antsy to stay still. Louis waited a few seconds, hoping his tone had been scary enough. "Don't test me, Liam. You've seen what I can do before," he warned. 

"Louis," Liam sighed, and he looked back and forth between Niall and Zayn. They only egged him on further, nodding in excitement and mouthing encouraging words until he sighed again and shifted the bucket in his hands. "You know that this is the last thing I want to do. You know that," Niall's laugh could be heard from beside him, but he dodged the hand shooting out from the covers that was coming to pinch him.

"Then don't fucking do it," Louis stated, and he heard Niall chanting the last two words beside him while bouncing up and down. "Did Niall put you up to this? Don't listen to him. He thinks that Chris Brown has really shitty music," he bargained, and Niall snorted out a "so do you," before whacking Louis a few more times with a pillow. "Liam. Buddy. Pal. Friend. Amigo," he rambled, hopeful that he could stall enough for them to just forget about going out that night.

"Spanish is Niall's weakness, mate," Zayn spoke up for the first time between bouts of laughter and Louis shot him a thumbs up quickly in thanks. He saluted back and Niall glared in Zayn's direction while shaking the lump under the covers until his arms grew sore.

"Liam. Homie. Gangster. Bro. Bae," he changed tactics and Liam only sighed harder, like the new plea was genuintely making it really hard for him to go through with the plan. "My main man. My home skillet. My, uh, homie?" Louis faltered.

"Already used that one," Zayn reminded him, shuffling through his bag and pulling out his pack of cigarettes to count how many were left. It was a classic thing for him to do before they went out, and Louis knew he was really running out of time now. He continued with his threats of firing Niall, and Liam looked to him in hesitation while Niall waved it off with a shrug. 

"Louis. Please just get out of bed," Liam pleaded, moving sideways so they could all hear the sloshing of the bucket. Niall squeaked in amusement and peered over the edge of the bed into the bucket. "If you just... if you get out of bed and get ready, then we can avoid this. We're your best friends. We're gonna be right by your side the entire time, there's no reason for you to be scared-"

"I am not scared," Louis snapped, cutting Liam off with an offended gasp and crossing his arms under the blanket. Niall was practically hovering over him by now, and no matter how badly he craved some air that wasn't stuffy and hot he refused to take a chance. "And furthermore, if you guys were really my best friends, as you so innocently claim to be, you wouldn't peer pressure me," he humphed.

Liam glanced pleadingly towards Niall, who in turn shrugged and crawled towards the edge of the bed. Louis felt relieved and hopeful for a half a second, almost convinced that maybe his protesting had held up for once and they were going to give in. But the sloshing of the bucket rang through the room again as Niall dipped his hand into it and let out a satisfied chuckle.

"Last chance, Tomlinson," he warned tauntingly, and Louis swallowed thickly. 

"You wouldn't dare," he challenged back, and Liam's quiet cursing under his breath came soon after. Hesitant footsteps came closer towards the bed along with Niall's coaxing and convincing voice as he lead the larger towards Louis. "Liam. Think about everything we've been through. You know that this isn't what you want. You know that I'm going to get you back so much harder, right? You and me, we're supposed to be pranking these assholes together. I can't believe you've betrayed me. I feel so ganged up on right now," Louis rambled, his voice starting to sound panicked. 

A shrill scream rang out through the room as the bucket was tipped upside down and a gallon of ice water was poured along the length of Louis' body. Niall howled with laughter and Zayn just shook his head knowingly, already having witnessed several wake up calls that had gone down like this before. Liam apologized a half a dozen times through his fits of giggles, and Louis wailed into his pillow as his body shook. 

They pulled Louis from the bed, kicking and screaming and clawing the sheets, and tossed him into the shower with a grin. He sat on the floor, staring up at them through wet hair plastered to his forehead. His pajamas clung to his soaked body, and he refused to take them off no matter how uncomfortable he was. Louis held up both hands with each middle finger raised and kept them there until Niall offered to wash his hair for him.

"No, because you are shit at that and last time got soap in my eyes," he declined immediately and held his hands up in surrender as he started to strip and bathe. Niall laughed heartily and sauntered out of the room, followed by a still chuckling Zayn who reached out to grab a hold of the blonde's waist. Liam began to curse the two out, claiming that Louis looked like a wet cat and would kill him for this.

Reluctantly, Louis got ready along with the rest of them. For the rest of the evening he was silent and shaking with one of the boys always hovering around to let him know that he wasn't alone and wouldn't be any time soon. By the time it was time to leave, he felt almost confident and relaxed about their dinner plans. Even if he had to fake it for the majority of the night, he knew that he could make it through.

The four men slipped into the back of Louis' limo and immediately found their designated seats. Louis smoothed out his Brioni suit and ran a hand through his slicked back hair. The traffic would make the ride long enough where it was acceptable to open a bottle or two of champagne, and Louis smiled menacingly in Liam's direction while jokingly aiming the cork towards him. 

"I propose a toast," Niall cheered when they had each poured their glasses, and he swatted at Louis' knee when he caught him drinking straight from the bottle. 

"To Louis," Liam blurted out immediately, and Niall looked at him in complete offense while Zayn hid behind his hands with laughter.

"You're not out from under the bus yet, Li. Though I do appreciate the kiss ass attitude," Louis took another gulp of his drink before raising his nearly empty glass with a wicked grin. "To me," he agreed as the car came to a stop and he glanced out the window to see the person he had been so hesitant to visit. 

-

Louis got drunk within an hour of the dinner beginning. It wasn't his fault, really, everyone just keeps making toast after toast regarding the old days and the  
antics they used to get up to. And with every toast he went through another glass of champagne that filled his veins with a warmth he hadn't felt since Harry's fingers traced hearts along his skin. 

"Liam," he whined and the man next to him turns towards him, still nervous about the pending revenge. Louis shushed him and held a hand up to cup his cheek with a tiny smile. "Don't worry, you're safe for tonight," he whispered with a wink and turned to rest his head in his shoulder. "Liam, can I get cake for dinner? And more champagne too?" he asked and Liam pet his head sympathetically.

"Cake, yes. I think you've had enough champagne for right now though. I'm not in the mood to haul your drunk ass home and clean up your vomit while Zayn and Niall canoodle in the next room," Liam laughed and stretched out his arms carefully, making sure not to jostle Louis too much. 

"No use in Niall and I ever adopting when we've got a Louis to look out for," Zayn joked with a laugh, and Louis heard Harry's laugh follow closely behind. Louis  
snorted and rolled his eyes with his head still stationed in the crook of Liam's shoulder. "To be honest though, Louis is the daddy of the group now," Zayn commented with a smug smile. 

"Niall, your boyfriend is calling me daddy again," Louis sing songed, and Niall reached over to whack him on the shoulder. Zayn mumbled something inaudible and  
chuckled to himself, but Louis ignored it. He could feel the burning of Harry's eyes on him. Still, his own stayed squeezed shut to avoid any eye contact. He wasn't  
ready for that yet, no matter what his BAC was. "Speaking of daddies. Harry. Is one," he commented, and Liam nearly spit out his drink as he choked back a laugh.

Harry blushed immediately, hiding his face in his hands as Liam struggled to sort himself out. Louis remarked how immature some youngsters could be and ruffled Liam's buzz cut hairdo affectionately. When his eyes fluttered open, he noticed a distraught looking Harry staring in his direction and watching the way Liam's hands rubbed comforting circles on his back. It made the hair on the back of Louis' neck stand up, and when their eyes met Harry couldn't hold the gaze for more than a few seconds before he looked away.

"I am, yes. Tonight is actually the first night I've gotten out of the house without Max in weeks," Harry laughed in exasperation and Louis struggled not to think of how sweet that baby boy looked on his hip at the grocery store, and in every tabloid picture he had scrounged up since then. "It's exhausting, being a parent, but I'm glad that I get to see you all while I'm staying in the city for a couple of months," 

They toasted to Max, and before Louis could lift the glass to his lips Liam stole it from his hands and drank the rest instead. Louis grumbled on about it for a few minutes while he dramatically ignored the other man, but soon enough he was laughing again and pressed up against his side to keep warm in the heavily air conditioned restaurant. 

Louis ate his cake happily, and the food and water Liam was practically forcing on him helped him to sober up slightly. It seemed that with every year he grew older, the less like his old self he grew to be. While the old Louis could have handled twice the alcohol without a sweat, it was a whole other situation now that he was twenty six and almost always sober.

Liam stayed particularly close through the night, continuously checking up on him to make sure everything was going well. While the other men had been around when things fell apart with Harry as well, Liam had experienced the worst bits of it. He stuck by Louis' side through the heart break and loneliness and helped him gain his footing again in a way that no one else was able to do. 

Niall was always around for a laugh and a distraction from everything horrible in the world. It was hard to be completely heart broken when speaking to him, and Louis could never help but crack a smile. Zayn was there for everything a best friend had to offer, from smoking to long talks to silent cuddles during horrible Lifetime movies. They were the people who had helped him through everything.

But Liam was the one who never gave up, who never stopped convincing Louis that the world wasn't hopeless. Even when Louis refused to reply or acknowledge him, Liam was there to give the most ridiculous and scattered pep talks. It got to the point where he would lock the door to keep the other out, but he'd just sit outside and keep blabbering on about never giving in and always pushing on. Louis grew used to the fact that Liam never shut the fuck up.

"I'm going to take a smoke," Louis yawned and reached out with his palm upright to ask for a cigarette from Zayn. He handed one over along with his lighter, and Liam flashed a concerned look that he just waved away. "Li, babe, m'fine," he slurred slightly and Harry rose almost immediately to awkwardly follow him. Louis cast a look over his shoulder and shrugged, ignoring the wide eyed stares that followed him to the door. 

Louis lit up and stood huddled against the brick wall of the building. Harry awkwardly sidled up a few feet from him and continuously glanced in his direction. It felt wrong in every way. This wasn't supposed to be how things played out. They were Louis and Harry. Being together was nothing but easy for the two of them. It had always been. They had believed it would always be. And now every second felt more forced than the last and Louis was close to collapsing onto the ground and begging Harry to never speak to him again.

"So," Harry piped up after Louis had sucked through half of his smoke and he flashed a look towards Harry to show that he was listening. The smoke rose into the night and he remembered his first cigarette on the roof of his summer home with an eleven year old Harry wheezing into his inhaler beside him. Louis hadn't smoked around him since, and he still made it a point to blow the smoke in the opposite direction so he wouldn't have to breathe it in. "I uh, didn't know you and Liam were together," 

Harry's voice was uptight, bitter even as he kicked a pebble with his shoe. Louis broke into a bout of laughter, leaned over so his hands were resting on his knees as his cigarette dangled from the side of his mouth. A few people passing on the street stopped in confusion and stared at him in surprise. Harry glanced around in embarrassment and tried to hide behind his hand briefly. Louis shook his head as he rose to stand up again and slipped the cigarette between his fingers.

"I know you haven't spoken to us much in over half a decade, but come on Harry," Louis snickered and Harry's face fell as he stammered in an attempt to defend himself. Louis felt slightly guilty about the comment, knowing that it was mainly his fault that the younger had dropped everything in his life and fled to the other side of the country. But he didn't take it back. "Liam is hopelessly straight. Lucky bastard," 

"So are you according to your interviews," Harry's voice was snide and resentful, and yes, if there's one thing that could make it feel like Harry had never left it was the constant shaming of his hiding in the closet. Louis rolled his eyes so hard it almost hurt and he stubbed his cigarette out with his shoe. 

"Unfortunately we can't all be as brave as you," he sneered and pushed back a few pieces of hair that had fallen into his face. "You're an absolute hero, Harry Styles.  
I don't know how you do it all," Louis made his voice raise a few octaves mockingly and shoved one hand into his pocket. Harry frowned, looking genuinely hurt but Louis refused to look at him for more than a couple of seconds at a time.

"You know what? I feel so fucking sorry for you. Six years later and you're still the same pretentious party boy asshole that I knew in high school. I have a family, a husband and son who love me, a good career, a home that I miss when I'm away from for too long. At least I'm happy," Harry fired back, and if Louis had laughed loudly before it was nothing compared to his next outburst.

"You're right, Harry. I should have taken the exact same path as you in life. Dropped all of the people who had been there for me for my entire life, hole up in some scummy city and sleep my way into a new career, find some rich guy with connections when my contracts expire and no one wants me anymore, become his trophy husband to support my extravagant lifestyle, and then convince myself that he loves me and that my new life is perfect. Sounds fucking fantastic," Louis spoke sarcastically, and Harry stared at him like he had ripped his heart out. 

"Fuck you," his voice cracked and his eyes were wide and terrified. It reminded Louis of when he was young and they were first starting out. He instinctively took a  
step forward before catching himself and stumbling back again. "You don't know shit about what happened to me in LA. I- fuck you," he repeated angrily, but his voice shook with every word. 

"I know enough," Louis spoke under his breath. It had been a mistake to say all of that. He knew it from the second it left his mouth. But he wasn't able to stop himself anymore. It was six years of anger that had built up all overflowing. This wasn't the way it was supposed to have happened. Nothing was playing out the way that he thought it would when he was young and naive. Louis should have been used to that by now. 

"You're disgusting. Fucking entitled arrogant piece of shit. You know what? My biggest regret is that I didn't leave you sooner. You fucked me up, Louis Tomlinson. I was young and impressionable and scared and you ruined me. I'm so glad that I got out of here when I did, because I can't imagine the shithole that my life would be if I had stayed with you that night instead of walking through that door," Harry's eyes brimmed with tears as he spoke angrily, his voice picking up speed with every word until he was practically stumbling over his sentences. 

Louis stared back with his mouth agape and his expression broken. It didn't take long for Harry to see the affect that his words had on the older man. He bit his lip to keep from speaking again and they stood in a stunned silence for a long time. Louis nodded slowly and adjusted the suit of his jacket again. He looked over at Harry weakly and noticed the gold band on his left ring finger shining under the street light. It was supposed to be silver, and Louis was supposed to have given it to him. 

"I might not have the perfect little family in the perfect little house on a hill, but as least I don't surround myself with fucking bullshit lies in order to feel some sort of fake happiness," Louis said slowly and Harry just nodded along with each word. The two of them looked as if they might burst at any moment, and Harry punched in a few numbers on his phone as he continued to nod to keep from crying.

A black car pulled up to the curb a couple of minutes later, and he mumbled something out about telling the others how much he had enjoyed the meal and to thank them for everything. Harry glanced back towards the restaurant and saw the other three men laughing heartily around the table while clinking champagne glasses. Louis wondered how he could live with himself knowing he had left them behind as well. Harry turned to walk towards the car, and as he was about to step in he held tightly to the door for support and looked back to meet Louis' eyes one last time. 

"I don't know how I ever could have loved you," he admitted with the emotion completely drained from his voice, and as the door slammed closed Louis felt the wind leave his body and the pain swallow him whole once again.

-

Louis' friends took him out for countless nights of fun in order to get his mind off of Harry. From binge drinking to yacht parties to laser tag, they did everything humanly possible to pull him from his permanent funk. But it didn't work. He was lifeless as he moved from one day to the next, just focusing on working and the company instead of anything or anyone else. 

If he wasn't working he was sleeping. There was nothing else to do with his time. After six years he was still hopelessly devoted to his first love, to the first person that ever made him feel that life was worth living. And now that man was married with a child and hated him with every inch of his body. They tried to convince him that it was a good thing that Harry was out of his life again. It meant that he was going to be able to keep moving on instead of being stuck in some unrequited love opposite a married man.

Louis went on with his life. With each day he got better again. It seemed that he had become an expert on how to get over pain caused by Harry. He wondered how many times it took Harry getting hurt by him to become more numb to the pain. Louis kept repeating the last words that Harry said to him over in his head, hoping and praying that they were just said out of anger. 

Everywhere he looked, Harry was there. Whether he was flipping through the channels on TV or doing work with the radio on in the background or walking through the airport terminal and passing a newsstand, Harry was there with his bright smiling husband and their baby. It didn't hurt any less, no matter how many times it happened he still felt like he was suffocating whenever he saw the devotion in Harry's eyes. 

Months went by, and Harry left the city. The rush of news surrounding him and his little family slowed. It was LA's problem now, and he couldn't have been more relieved. Slowly his life was rebuilt the same way it had been before the grocery store encounter. He surrounded himself with his friends and his business. He traveled the world as much as possible with his schedule and work load. It wasn't the perfect little life for all, he knew that, but he was happy.

-

It was the middle of January when Louis staggered into the bar of a hotel with a sleepy smile and a coat two sizes too big for him. Liam followed closely behind, guiding him towards a bar stool before he went to talk to the man at the front desk. They had gotten caught in a snow storm on the way home from volunteer work at a children's hospital, and they gave up on trying to make it all the way back to the apartment when Louis ambushed Liam and stole his coat.

"Meet you up in a bit, Li. Gonna have a drink or two to warm up," Louis stretched out when he snagged the spare key to their room from the other and tucked it safely into the pocket of his suit. Liam nodded and waved halfheartedly before wandering off towards the elevators on the other side of the lobby. Louis rubbed his hands together to warm them up and smiled towards the bar tender. "Double whiskey, please," he chirped. 

"Isn't someone cheery," a low voice grumbled from a few stools down, and Louis sighed as he turned towards them with a bright smile. It fell from his face immediately though when he was met with long curly hair and piercing green eyes that stared intently in his direction. Harry brought his martini glass up to his mouth and finished the drink before signaling for another.

"Harry," Louis spoke breathlessly, and his head cocked to the side in confusion. The last that he'd known, he was back in California with Tom and Max living happily on their little ranch house. Even if he was in town for a gig, Louis found it strange that he was drinking alone in a shady hotel bar past midnight. "I didn't know you were in the city," 

"Funny thing about that is," Harry hiccuped and buried his face in his hands for a moment before pulling up with a sarcastic smile and dim eyes. "I didn't want you to know I was in the city. And you just happen to stroll into the fucking hotel bar I'm drinking myself into oblivion at," Louis frowned and furrowed his eyebrows together as he held his own drink in his hands.

"Weird how that works," Louis commented hesitantly, not sure of what to say or how to say it. Harry was making it completely obvious that he was the last person that he had wanted to see, and as he took a sip of his drink he considered just leaving it and running away to go hide in his shared room with Liam. 

"Is that your boyfriend's coat? Are you here on a fucking date?" Harry asked almost angrily, and Louis quickly shook his head. Harry leaned back in his seat and shrugged indifferently. 

"It's Liam's. We got caught in the storm," Louis let out a small sigh and Harry rolled his eyes as he was handed another martini. The bags under his eyes were prominent, and his face was red and puffy like he had been crying. Something was wrong with the situation, and Louis struggled to find the right words to say that might make anything better between the two of them. 

"So you can gallivant all around the fucking city clinging to Liam, but you weren't even able to look at me outside of the confinements of your room," Harry accused, and waggled a finger around. Louis' mouth opened to say something, but he ended up chewing the inside of his cheek and sipping on his whiskey instead of adding fuel to the fire.

"Harry-" he started tentatively, but he was cut off by a loud laugh and the angry slamming down of a glass. Louis flinched back and stared into his own drink, avoiding the heavy gaze cast in his direction.

"You were right. Does it feel good hearing that, Louis?" Harry sneered and gestured to his drink for another refill. The bartender shot Louis a look, and he stared open mouthed back at him in a stunned silence. If it meant that the younger got hurt, then of course it didn't feel good to hear. "I'm just a trophy husband in a loveless marriage who fucked his way to the top, and pretended that every bit of happiness I felt was something real. You really hit the nail on the head. The only thing that you didn't predict was the husband being a cheating bastard on top of all that," 

Louis wished that he could have taken every word that he said that night back. Even if he had thought that he had everything figured out, seeing that he had been somewhat correct was in no way satisfying. It meant that Harry was left wrecked in the aftermath, something that he had hoped the younger would never have to endure. No matter how much suffering Harry had ever caused him, he never would have wished an ounce of pain on him in return. 

They sat in silence, each ordering another drink or two while staring ahead at the mirror over the bar. Louis watched Harry carefully, not having seen him in such a state before and wanting desperately to help him. After all of this time, his main priority was still protecting the younger man and sheltering him from all of the bad in the world. Harry let out a tiny squeak as he balled his fists against his hair and started to shake. Louis moved swiftly over the two bar stools separating them and shot an apologetic glance towards the bar tender. 

"Harry? Harry, what's your room number? Come on, I'll take you upstairs and we can get you to Tom or-" Louis started and Harry wailed at the mention of the other man's name as he surged forward to rest his head on Louis' chest. He sat trembling and crying softly into him, and Louis hesitated before he wrapped two tight arms around him to hold him close.

Louis managed to get the room key from Harry's pocket and he helped him off of the bar stool, overcome by just how drunk the other was. But he wasn't hard to manage, he just clung to Louis' side like he was his only life line and followed him towards the elevators with his tears staining Liam's trench coat that still clung to his shoulders. They rode up the elevator silently, and Louis rubbed circles in his back as he typed out a quick text to Liam to let him know that he was okay and would check in once things settled down. 

Once inside the hotel room, Louis realized that there was no one else around. It was just Harry's bag tossed in the chair with no sign of a husband or child staying there. Louis helped him out of his boots carefully and peeled the heavy coat from him before managing to get Harry tucked underneath the duvet. He was still a whimpering mess, clutching Louis' hand and staring up at him helplessly. 

"You were right," Harry repeated over and over again as Louis settled in to card his fingers through curly hair with a heavy head in his lap. "Everything was a lie," he whimpered brokenly. "He didn't love me. Why didn't he love me Louis?" Harry asked sleepily, barely able to keep his eyes open as he searched for an answer. Louis stared back blankly with his mouth agape, unable to give an answer.

Louis tried to comfort Harry in some way, though every touch felt wrong. He attempted every form of consolation that had been used over the years, from drawing on his back to singing quietly under his breath to repeating that everything would be okay until his throat was sore. At one point, Louis even began to messily braid little pieces of the younger's hair and didn't stop, even after his fingers began to ache.

"I love you," Louis mouthed, his lips pressed to the top of curly hair and his eyes squeezed closed. It wasn't enough. It had never been enough for Harry, not even when he was sixteen and lost in the world. They sat in silence until Harry tugged at Louis to slip under the blankets beside him. It was awkward to get comfortable, still dressed in suits and trying to weasle into stiff sheets. But as soon as they were curled up into each other, he wondered how he had ever been able to sleep without the curly haired man at his side. 

Harry fell asleep pressed against Louis with his fists balled tightly to the fabric of the older's shirt. They had slept together that way hundreds of times before. It had been close to a decade since the last time he had held Harry in his arms, and he forced himself to stay awake in his slightly drunken haze to properly savor every second of it. With arms wound tightly around one another's waists and lips just barely grazing the skin of the other, Louis wished more than anything that the married man in his grip would stay there forever.

-

Louis woke up alone. The realization came slowly as his eyes fluttered open and he remembered the events of the night before. His hand immediately reached out for Harry but all that he grabbed was cold crumpled sheets. A low dejected sob left his lips and he sat up to search frantically around the hotel suite for any sign of the younger boy. The duffel bag on the chair in the corner was gone. 

When his eyes landed upon the bedside table he felt his chest tighten. A tall glass of water sat next to a bottle of aspirin was left for him, and it couldn't have been more out of place. After all of the pain and hurt that Harry had put him through, he was still attempting to look out for him. Louis wanted to have been the one to wake up early and coddle the other. 

Louis sat up angrily, ignoring the pounding in his head that caused the room to spin, and reached out for the water. He stared at it, seeing a pathetic reflection of himself faintly through the condensation. The glass was hurled across the room and shattered against the wall, and Louis nearly laughed at the metaphors he could create with the broken glass laying strewn across the hotel floor. 

Tears rushed down his face as he sat on the bed, looking around the suite in complete abandonment. The bottle of aspirin was thrown across the room as well, but his strength was weaker now and it only hit the chair in the corner with a tiny thud. Choked sobs filled the room until his voice was hoarse and his eyes were red and puffy. Louis pulled himself out of the bed, started towards the door, but froze when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye.

He had missed it before, but on the dresser sat a crumpled piece of paper that had been overlooked at first. His heart started to race, hopeful that maybe there was some sort of explanation. Crossing the room swiftly, Louis grabbed the note and smoothed it out against the wooden surface. Several messages had been written, but only one hadn't been scribbled out in heavy black ink.

"That was never the answer I needed," 

-

"What if he has to do, like, one of those airport movie scenes?" Niall offered excitedly from his spot on the couch, and Louis slapped him upside the head as he walked from one side of the apartment's living room to the other. 

"Dunno how well that'd work. With TSA guidelines and everything. You can't go to the terminals anymore," Zayn drawled, sympathetically patting the top of Niall's head. The younger only huffed and cursed heavy security with a string of interesting words. Louis was still racing around, shouting into his phone at the hotel clerk that was on the other line.

After Harry left him alone in that hotel, Louis decided that it was time to end all of the suffering that he had put himself through over the years. So, he proposed one final declaration of love to the boy he had wanted to end up with his whole life. Hopefully, of course, Harry would accept and they could slowly figure everything out together. But if not, that was the end. And Louis was going to let go for real. 

There, of course, was only one problem so far: no one could seem to find Harry. 

"Lou, as your best friend and a hopeless romantic I find it completely incredible that you're going to such great lengths to find him. Really beautiful. However... as your lawyer I don't know if calling in this many favors and sounding so frantic over the phone is such a good idea-" Liam piped up nervously, and Louis whipped around to stare at him menacingly. 

"Zayn is my lawyer. And my best friend," he snapped, and Liam pouted dejectedly from the little chair. Louis' gaze softened and he sighed. "Last call. Promise," he said, apologetically reaching over to give Liam's shoulder a squeeze. The other nodded with a happier smile, and went back to listening to Niall's incessant babbling on the death of romance due to an age of high security precautions. 

The hotel he was on the phone with now was run by a close friend of Louis' and he begged into the receiver for her to just check and see if Harry was staying there for the night. In return, he promised not to let the photos of them together in Cancun leak and she eventually gave in to his very inappropriate use of blackmail. 

"He actually was here. Checked out... close to forty five minutes ago though," she answered in surprise and dialed a number on a different phone to speak to the woman at the front desk for any further clues. "Louis?" and he gave an excited noise to show that he was listening before she sighed. "Said he was headed to JFK. I hope you know that I could lose a lot over this-"

Louis cut her off with a dozen thank yous and apologies before hanging up the phone and sprinting towards the door to put on his shoes. With the phone pressed between his shoulder and ear he called for his car, pleading that it was incredibly urgent. The other boys followed behind him in confusion as he lead them in the direction of the elevators.

"Looks like you might get your airport scene after all, Niall," Louis spoke breathlessly as they walked out into the lobby and towards the entrance of the building where the black car was waiting for him. 

-

Louis couldn't remember the last time that he had run so fast. Most likely it was in high school when he was on the soccer team, but since then he had been more business oriented instead of active. The years of smoking had worn down the capacity of his lungs, and he felt like an old man racing into the airport. People looked at him like he was crazy, and he held up a hand to wave at them in a brash way.

Thousands of people were crowded around, and he cursed himself more than ever for being too short to be capable of peering over a crowd. Immediately he raced towards the security line, scanning through the men and women already lined up in hopes of seeing Harry there. He asked a guard beside him if he'd seen the man, and he shrugged indifferently before greeting a large family. 

Louis bounced around on the balls of his feet, glancing back and forth from one side of the long hall to the other. The sound of suitcases rolling and indistinct conversations took over his mind, and the world passed in slow motion while his head whipped from one side to the other. A few people recognized him and he waved absentmindedly while continuing his search, feeling more hopeless with every passing second. 

"Louis?" and at first he thought he was imagining it. It wasn't the first time that day he had thought his name was being called. Louis stared through the people, running a hand through his fringe. "Lou?" it was louder that time, and Louis spun around on his heel so he was face to face with a confused Harry, clutching the same duffel bag that had been in the hotel room.

Harry's mouth moved as he spoke, but Louis couldn't hear him. All of this time combing the city and he had never once thought about what he might say when he was finally faced with the man he had been looking for. It was too much, and his stomach turned at the realization that the moment was here. It was now or never. This one last compelling argument was all he had to bring him the happiness he had been missing for the past seven years, and he had nothing to say.

"I believe in fate," Louis blurted out, remembering the common question that he had never been able to answer when he was young. Harry looked taken aback but didn't interrupt with more questions. "I used to think that I had everything figured out. My whole future, exactly how my life was going to play out. And then you... and then you left. Nothing was the same anymore. The whole life I had was turned upside down, and I was so fucking lost without you there by my side," 

Louis paused and Harry squeezed his eyes closed to push back any tears threatening to pop up. They stood just feet apart, and Louis took the first step closer in case this was his last chance. He had learned his lesson. When it came to Harry he had to cherish every moment they were together, because he never knew when he was going to lose him again.

"But I knew that I was going to find my way back to you. No matter how long it took, I knew someday you would be back in my life again. And when I saw you in that fucking grocery store of all places," Louis gulped and Harry choked out a watery laugh. "We were meant to find each other again. Because the city is big, Harry, yet I keep running into you in the strangest places. Because we're meant to be in each other's lives," 

Louis faltered slightly, his whole body trembled while he tried to come up with something compelling enough to bring Harry back to him for good. They had both been to hell and back without each other, and they had caused each other so much suffering from the time they were in their teens. But Louis was convinced that they could be better for each other now. 

"When you walked out the door the first time I- I let you go. I watched, wallowing in self pity as the best thing in my life disappeared. And it's happened in every run in we've had since then. I spent so much time blaming you for leaving me and not trying to come back. But I never went after you, Harry. I just let you go," Louis' bottom lip shook and he tried to remain as composed as possible in the bustling sea of people.

Harry stood frozen in place. The clock on the wall read twenty minutes until the time his plane was meant to board, and if he left now to get through security and travel to his terminal he would just barely make it. Still, he didn't move. His eyes stayed trained on Louis like he was the only thing tethering him to reality, and Louis crumbled under his gaze.

"I told you that I loved you, Harry. And you said it wasn't enough," Louis' voice broke halfway through. "I don't know what kind of answers you're looking for, and I don't know if I have any of them. All that I know is that I love you more than I thought it was possible to love another person, even after all of this time. Even after all of the fights we've had, and all of the harsh words we've said. I would be with you forever, or leave you alone forever depending on what it was you wanted. I would do anything and everything to make you happy,"

Harry tried desperately to wipe the tears from his face that rolled down his cheeks before anyone could notice, and Louis took another step forward. He reached up to brush away the tears with the pad of his thumb like he had done so many times before. 

"Please don't get on that plane," Louis pleaded and carefully took Harry's hand in his own. "I've let you walk out of my life time after time without a word, but that ends today. I am in love with you, and I always will be. If you give me a chance I promise that I will love you with everything I have until the day that I die. Through all of the obstacles that we may face and the struggles that could come along with it, I will love you. And I will be happy to face them as long as I'm doing so with you," 

Louis stood fearfully, letting his brave facade fade to instead be replaced with someone openly terrified. Everything he had done to push Harry out of his life before faded, and he was completely vulnerable to the younger man. Time dragged on, and he could faintly hear the boarding call of his flight. If he really wanted to, he could still bribe his way onto that plane. 

"I love you," Harry whispered, staring down through bleary eyes.

"You say that like it's the answer to everything," Louis mimicked, his voice catching as Harry stepped forward to rest his hands timidly at his waist. 

"Isn't it?" Harry's smile was weak and wobbly. 

Louis reached up to loop an arm around the back of Harry's neck, tugging him down swiftly to attach their lips together. It was a mess, really, teeth clashing and lips slipping from the dampness streams of tears had left behind. But seven years later and Louis still felt the spark running through his body when they touch. His knees wobbled and knocked against each other, and Harry held him up from collapsing with strong arms.

The sound of flashing cameras was distant, and Louis knew already that his life was going to change yet again. But instead of panicking and falling into a downward spiral, he felt hopeful for the new journey he was about to face. Harry squeezed his hand tightly, a sign that he was there, and Louis leapt forward to wrap his shaking legs around the other's waist and kiss him through tears.

Their laughter was loud, and it wasn't long until they were asked to vacate the premise. Hand in hand they charged through the crowd, ignoring every question directed their way. They made it outside, still giggling and pressed to each other while searching for a taxi. Smushed together in the back seat, Louis cupped Harry's jaw and stared at him fondly.

By the time they made it to Louis' apartment there was a tiny crowd of reporters clustered around the entrance. It wasn't hard to ignore them; they were completely wrapped up in each other. They raced through the rain to get into the lobby, Louis dragged Harry along towards the elevators and jabbed at the button impatiently. Harry backed him up against the wall and kissed him again. Over and over until they were light headed and staggering in through the open doors.

There was a grand tour of the apartment, complete with giggling and Harry accidentally breaking more than a couple of appliances in the kitchen. The phones rang repeatedly, and Louis ended up turning them all off as he curled into Harry to protect him from the outside world. They fell asleep in a pile on the living room floor, both too exhausted to try and make it to the bedroom. 

Harry turned over, flashing sleepy green eyes and a smile so bright Louis was convinced it could melt him. He thought about everything that was about to come their way. Being outed. A divorce. Business strategy. Custody battles. Saving the family name. Tabloids. Angry family members. But when he looked to Harry, the fear building in his chest disappeared. He would face it all and anything more for him.

Louis thought about the answer Harry had given him at the airport. They had absolutely nothing figured out so far, no long term plan or short term one either. It was just the two of them against the world now. The only answer that they had was the same one that was there when they were teenagers hidden away in distant countries. Was love really the answer to everything? 

"Yeah," Louis thought to himself as they tangled their fingers together and drifted off to sleep. "I guess it is," 

-

The silver band gleamed under the light of the sun. Tiny fingers skimmed across it curiously, but before long the child was darting off into the yard once again to chase after the other kids. Glasses clinked in the background and the sound of another bottle of champagne being opened is followed with hearty cheers. Three years later, Louis was thirty years old and the happiest he'd been in his life.


End file.
